2022'S WORST NETFLIX MOVIES
By Rashmi Goel
As 2022 draws to a close, it is time to take a look back at the films that have been released during the year. It should be noted that although plenty of films were released exclusively in theaters - something that we haven't seen for a while due to the Covid pandemic - there was also a significant number that was released directly on streaming services. This year's Netflix Originals have been a mixed bag - some good, some bad. Let's talk about the bad ones.
There are numerous films below that have been viewed by millions of people. It doesn't mean, however, that they were liked. Although some people enjoyed these movies, the overall impressions from audiences and critics alike were resoundingly negative.
One of the worst Netflix-produced movies of the year is an adaptation of a classic book, another is an addition to a fan-favorite franchise, and another is a sequel to a dull teen comedy. With the extensive range of content Netflix releases, there are bound to be a few movies that miss the mark entirely. Despite that, they are still worth watching. Every now and then, we need a movie to laugh at while we do chores, go out with friends, or scroll through Instagram.
Tall Girl 2
Tall Girl 2 was directed by Emily Ting and written by Sam Wolfson in 2022. As part of the cast, there are actors such as Ava Michelle, Sabrina Carpenter, Griffin Gluck, and Steve Zahn. Following the release of Tall Girl in 2019, this film is a sequel. Now that she's back, she's even taller. Jodi's height of 6'1" is much more important than her name. Because it's quite honestly the only factor working against her, this plot point is crucial to this sequel. Besides dating her best friend Jack Dunkleman and being super popular, she just won the lead in her school's musical. Apparently, Jodi's inner critic is telling her that she's not good enough. Her height is the reason! It is conveyed somewhere in this movie that insecurities can be overcome. It is difficult, however, to make us care about a protagonist whose only obstacle is her own standards of perfection. It seems impossible.
Marmaduke
Marmaduke is a 2010 American live-action/computer-animated comedy film and an adaptation of Brad Anderson's comic strip of the same name. The film centers on a rural Kansas family and their pets. We’ve come to a hell of a long way from Brad Anderson’s charming newspaper comic strip. This year’s Marmaduke reminds us that Hollywood has no problem running beloved franchises into the ground, rehashing them until they’re an undistinguishable mess of viral TikTok moments and fart jokes. You thought the 2010 adaptation of Marmaduke starring Owen Wilson as the titular Great Dane was bad? Somehow, this one is even worse.
Spiderhead
Paul Verhoeven's Total Recall and Denis Villeneuve's Arrival are great examples of sci-fi movies based on short stories. However, as in the case of Spiderhead, they can also be extremely difficult to get through. Taking place in a futuristic penitentiary where prisoners can shorten their sentences by volunteering for chemical experiments, convict Jeff (Miles Teller) finds his reality challenged by his supervisor Steve Abnesti (Chris Hemsworth). This is a feature-length, B-grade Black Mirror episode that doesn't live up to its A-list cast or potent source material.
Purple Hearts
Elizabeth Allen Rosenbaum directed Purple Hearts, a 2022 American romantic film for Netflix. Netflix's romantic drama Purple Hearts follows Cassie (Sofia Carson), an aspiring singer with Type I diabetes, and ex-addict-turned-Marine Luke (Nicholas Galatzine). In order to reap the benefits of military service, Cassie and Luke agree to marry - Cassie will be able to obtain much-needed healthcare, while Luke will be able to earn more money. It's a cross between Dear John and The Proposal. Purple Hearts' biggest flaw is its use of hollow, perhaps even damaging stereotypes to address serious themes. There was the potential for this film to provide hard-hitting insight into the many individuals who feel that the system has failed them, but instead, it chose to use stale cliches to convey its message. The movie appeared on Netflix's Top 10 list for 28 days, generating 23.41 million viewing hours per week. Evidently, some people enjoyed it. The film isn't the worst Netflix film of the year, but it's easy to see why so many people have taken offense to it.
Texas Chainsaw Massacre
With each new installment, the Texas Chainsaw Massacre franchise seems to get worse, and the Netflix-produced ninth installment is no exception. Garcia's film takes place decades after the original, with Leatherface targeting a new group of young adults while being pursued by a vengeful survivor. The film was criticized by some critics for its lack of suspense and 83-minute runtime. This year, with so many fresh horror ideas like Nope and X, perhaps it's time to leave behind the Texas Chainsaw Massacre.
Persuasion
Autumn de Wilde's Emma, a refreshingly modern-feeling period film also based on a Jane Austen work, clearly inspired Persuasion. Moreover, it attempts to capture Phoebe Waller-Bridge's wall-breaking Fleabag's crackling electricity. It is a pity, then, that this rendition of a classic novel fails to land on its feet. This movie fails to capture the depth of the source material, despite Dakota Johnson's good efforts as the intelligent, conflicted Anne Elliot. Anne Elliot should never say "I'm single and thriving" directly in front of the camera before a montage of her drinking red wine and sobbing.
The Royal Treatment
Netflix recently ventured into the Hallmark genre, churning out the same kind of sweet, sappy romances previously reserved for cable. The Royal Treatment, on the other hand, comes under the category of "so bad it's good." In the film, Laura Marano plays Izzy, a hairdresser who is hired to work at Prince Thomas's wedding (Mena Massoud). Until she develops feelings for the prince. The end of this movie is probably predictable even before watching it, which might make you feel comfortable or make you want to throw up.
Senior Year
Over 167 million viewing hours were accumulated during the period during which Senior Year remained on Netflix's Top 10 movie list. It is important to note that a movie need not be good for this to happen - sometimes it is the cringiest content that is hard to avoid that leads to this outcome. As Steph Conway, a high school cheer captain who wakes up after being in a coma for twenty years, Rebel Wilson plays the role of a 37-year-old woman. In order to triumph at prom, Rebel Wilson returns to high school, but she is surprised by the changing standards of what it means to be cool since the advent of Gen Z. Look, Rebel Wilson is funny in nearly everything she appears in, and it's hard to deny her comedic skills in this movie as well. In spite of this, there are few laughs to be found, and the cloying message of "be yourself" doesn't ring true.
The Bubble
Judd Apatow has proven that he knows the ins and outs of the entertainment industry well enough to poke fun at it from his work on The Larry Sanders Show to his Netflix series Love. A big-budget action film production surrounded by the Covid-19 pandemic is the focus of The Bubble, which should have been a lot more entertaining. Despite a hefty ensemble cast of Karen Gillan, Fred Armisen, and Apatow's own daughter Iris, The Bubble couldn't rise above its meandering, hackneyed plot. While true Apatow fans will likely watch this film, it would be hard to rank it among the best he has made.
Me Time
Despite the fact that Me Time received mixed reviews, it is clear that John Hamberg did not please many critics. As they slog through crass jokes and wacky stunts, Kevin Hart and Mark Wahlberg are wasted on overwhelmingly unfunny material. When his wife and children are away, Hart finds himself with rare "me time" when playing the role of Sonny, an overworked stay-at-home dad. His life nearly comes to an end when he joins his old friend Huck (Walhberg) for his annual birthday party. It's not worth your time to watch Me Time.
Metal Lords
There was nothing good about this movie from beginning to end. In every way, it attempted to emulate other high school movies such as Superbad, but it fell short of its goals. Despite Metal Lords' interesting premise, they could not find the right comedic beats to create a compelling comedy. There was no problem with any of the performances. Although the film's writing made it seem as if it was from another era, it was not in a positive manner. In addition, there is a strange misogynistic undercurrent in this work that turns you away.
Blonde
The 2022 film Blonde tried to showcase Marilyn Monroe's multidimensionality, but it failed to convey what made her so iconic. Despite Ana de Armas' critically acclaimed performance, Blonde's misinterpretation of Monroe's triumphs and tribulations couldn't be concealed, because a talking fetus begging not to be terminated is no way to excuse misreadings of Monroe's life. Their sexual expressiveness of Monroe was seen by Dominik as a crutch rather than empowerment. There is no better example than Blonde’s lengthy reimagining of Monroe’s relationship with John F. Kennedy. The film is so inaccurate and incredibly misogynistic that viewers threw it into a sea of forgetfulness because of this hideous blunder. A film based on the life and career of Marilyn Monroe may eventually be made. However, Blonde definitely isn't the one for now.
Windfall
This is probably the best "bad" movie on this list. Their efforts were commendable. It's a movie that divides opinion. Some people really loved it; others didn’t. Though Windfall attempts to say something meaningful about classism, it fails to deliver the thrills that home invasion thrillers are supposed to deliver. Moreover, this 90-minute film feels like it lasts longer than two hours.
The Gray Man
There was nothing wrong with The Gray Man, it just wasn't the best Netflix movie of the year. Although the film was a hit with viewers and there will now be a sequel and a spinoff, the 46% on Rotten Tomatoes is not entirely inaccurate. It has an excellent cast of A-listers, no one can argue that, and its stylized tone of popcorn action movies of the past was refreshing. There were a lot of ghosts of action flicks past in the script, and overall it was convoluted. However, Gray Man's star power isn't to be overlooked.
Mr. Harrigan’s Phone
I think this is a real-life incarnation of a Facebook meme. There is nothing good about phones! Seriously, nothing happens in this movie, and you can't imagine the short story was much better, either. Jaeden Martell is a great actor, and you feel bad for including two of his movies. There is genuinely good stuff in the first half of this film. The film was captivated when Donald Sutherland was on screen, but once he died, it declined.
365 Days sequels
There was already something wrong with the first movie, but the sequels don't even try to make things better. In light of this, it's not surprising that Netflix decided to rush out the shows within just a few months. This is just an over-long soft porn music video with a new song playing every few minutes just to try and try and keep the viewers from spending time on everything else that is going on.
